Thursday, January 24, 2013

Cameron's Mom Has Got it Goin' On....Duh.

In our house, there is a rule that the kids may have birthday parties where their school friends are invited every other year. On "off" years, the poor babies must suffer through the celebration with only their family. 

This year, though she had suffered through the flu on her actual birthday, in the week that followed, she had a 'Glamour Party' at the local arts center with all of her friends.

The girls had a great time. They did their hair & make-up. They danced and ate cake. If cocktails were included, I would SO be having my own birthday party there.

Except, during the party, I realized that I wasn't cool enough to have my party there, I was barely cool enough to attend Cameron's party.

I didn't know a single song blasting from the KidzBop CD. When I asked one glamour girl whether the song playing was Justin Bieber, she laughed at me and said, "No! This is a One Direction song - Duh!" Oh holy shit. I just got "Duh-ed" by a six-year-old.

While they were having their hair spray-painted, my references to Rainbow-Brite were met with blank stares. They had no idea. None. Rainbow who???  

Even my snacks proved uncool. I brought baked Cheetos for a them to snack on thinking I was being a semi-heatlh conscious mom -  yet, a few girls said that their Cheetos tasted rotten.

Every other year only every other year. 

Hadley's birthday is coming up in April, so I figure I still have time to brush up on my KidzBop. She is going to think it's so awesome that her mom will not only know all the words to today's hottest hits, but will also be able to loudly sing along. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Pool Party in June!

Boot camp ended with a bang. A huge bang. Like a bang being fired out my ass. 

It started with a rumble in my stomach. I'm used to a rumbling stomach as I'm always hungry, however, this rumble was different. This rumble wasn't kind. This rumble meant I had a stomach bug. 

I tried to ignore it. I choked down some Imodium and set off to work, thinking possibly it was a fluke thing. Fluke it was not. 

I text my husband: I think I'm sick. I think I need to leave work.

Husband: Like sick how?

Me: Like the big D.

Husband: Just tell them you're sick, and you have to leave.

Me: I'm embarrassed.

Husband: You're going to be a lot more embarrassed if you shit your pants.

Sometimes, my husband it just so right on. 

I left and drove quickly home. Puking began shortly after I arrived, and I conceded the fight, I was sick.

Christmas was still a week away. Surely I would kick this little bug by then. I tried to look on the bright side. I've heard of people paying for colonics - a procedure done in a spa that cleanses your colon. Well, courtesy of boot camp, I just got a colonic for free! Score!

I kicked the stomach bug quickly enough only to find that Cameron had a fever. Diagnosis: Influenza a. 

This seemed unfair. This poor kid's birthday was just a few days away, and I was fairly certain she wouldn't be able to celebrate.

I was right. She opened her presents during a coughing fit while spitting up into a bowl. Then she headed into the ER.

Cameron being treated in the ER on her 6th Birthday. 

She was released a few hours later with a breathing machine and some stronger drugs to help her kick the virus.

With my immune system having been compromised by the boot camp bug, I, too, fell to the flu.

I haven't had to flu in years, and I had forgotten how horrible it felt. The coughing like knives to the chest. The stuffy nose. The body aches. The fever.

At one point as my fever reached 103 degrees, I went numb. Nothing hurt anymore. I actually felt peaceful. I questioned whether this was death. I felt nothing.

A few hours later, I felt everything.  I was drowning in my own face. Sleeping with my mouth open, I awoke with so much drool and snot on myself that I practically needed a floatie on my head to sit up. 

Christmas Day, Justin took the healthy children to my parents and Cameron and I stayed behind.

My mother brought over our food and our presents. Cam and I dined on steak, potatoes and asparagus. It might as well have been dog food, because I had lost my sense of taste - ok, now this was death.

As I sat with Cameron on my lap, it felt a little like 6 years ago, when my little girl, who was born on Christmas eve, layed with me in the hospital while the rest of the world was celebrating. It wasn't Christmas, but it was the greatest gift I could have received. 

Cameron Noelle. A few days old. 2006.
Christmas passed, and we missed it. We missed it all, however,  we had each other. Home Alone on TV. A box of tissues. A warm blanket. Though it wasn't a traditional Christmas, this year, it was our Christmas, and we were thankful.

PS. Cameron is getting a super huge pool party in June!