Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Potty Time

My mom has been running our church's vacation Bible School since I was a little kid. She loves it, and though I don't share my mom's crazy enthusiasm, I'm willing to help her out. 

I think her long-term plan is to hand over the Bible School duties to me, but unless Bible School can be about a week late and completely half-assed, I think her plan has a few flaws.

This year's theme was A Fishin' Mission and it was held outside. All activities were water-based, and I was excited to get a tan and take some aggression out on my kids by blasting them with squirt guns.

I arrived, well late, and was handed the volunteer sheet (which was made by my mother). 

I was anxious to see my job and hoped that maybe I'd be in charge of the water balloon race or if I was really lucky, the snacks. 

Well, check this out:

Yep, I spent the day being the "Potty Leader" or really the Ass-Wiper. 

Unfortunately, being the "Potty Leader" wasn't much of a departure from my daily life. 
With two of my three children requiring bathroom assistance, I'd probably consider myself qualified for the job.

Being a qualified "Potty Leader" isn't exactly how I saw my life unfolding. Yet ,here I life unfolded in all it's glory  - on a sheet of Charmin. 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Cameron and the Clown

Every now and then, a small family-operated circus will pass through our town. Barnum and Baileys it is not, but it is just down the street, relatively inexpensive, my kids get to sit ring side - they love it.  AND they get to participate.

Hadley was plucked from the crowd by the clown-in-charge to take part in a hula hoop contest with some of his cohorts.  Hadley, who can be shy when faced with big crowds, surprised me when she took part and seemed to enjoy it.

This was quite a milestone for her, and I hopped up to take a picture. I was really proud of her for getting out there!

 Looks like a fun time - right????  Look again....

Cameron absolutely lost her sh*t because she was not chosen to participate. She spent the rest of the circus sobbing and shooting dirty looks at the clown who her ignored her pleas to hula-hoop. This experience has "ruined her life."

Perhaps she had a secret hula hoop talent she was hoping to expose, or maybe she had plans to join the circus and all of her life's dreams are, in fact, ruined?

I'm quite certain that a seed of psychological damage was planted here - a favored sister, an evil clown.......a hula hoop.

Look for the damage to manifest itself in a few years when she's dressing as a clown and smashing all the hula hoops in town.