Friday, August 14, 2015

Finders Keepers?

I balance my checkbook and pay the bills weekly. Usually it is with sweat on my brow, that I crunch the numbers and hope that this isn’t the week where I’ve spent too much and finally taken us under.

With school registration fees, back-to-school shopping, gymnastics fees (this list could go on & on) my check book has been seeing a lot of action lately. So I’ve been looking for small ways to save a little money.

After cleaning up the summer scum that the children had left behind, I was out of cleaning supplies and because I’m being budget conscience, I headed to a discount shopping center where I found multi-purpose spray cleaner, bleach, toilet bowl cleaner, and furniture polish (because maybe I’ll do that??) all for $1 each. My budget was smiling.

I was in the checkout line when I saw it. There on the floor was an envelope. I picked it up. Inside? $350.

Instantly a little angel and a little devil popped up on my shoulder and went to battle.

Devil: Yay! This must be gift from God. This is his way of helping you out!

Angel: You know better than this. This is not your money. Someone worked hard for this money.

Devil: You don’t know that! Someone could have sold drugs to children for this money. Your luck? They probably sold it to your kids! Keep the money.

Angel: You can’t keep it!

Devil: Finders keepers!

Angel: Do unto others!

Ugh. My conscience was fighting worse than my kids. I was irritating myself. I had to shut it down.

I decided I should take the money to the police station. Then I panicked.

What if there were security cameras in the store? What if they saw me leaving with the money and instantly plastered my picture on social media? I could become a cyber-bullying victim: declared guilty in the court of public opinion before I had the opportunity to explain I had taken it to the police.

I handed over the money to an employee who said she would put it in the safe until it was claimed. I’m hopeful that this occurred, and I’m hopeful that the money is reunited with its owner. I’m sure whoever it is is probably on a budget and is missing it more than I could ever need it.

It’s such a shitty feeling to lose money. Once, I lost $100 at a mini-golf course/arcade. I was in middle school and decided to take my entire life savings with me to a putt putt place because I was an idiot. What the hell was I going to buy? $100 worth of slushies and nachos? I guess that was always a possibility….

I never found that money. I’m still pissed about it. I’m pissed at myself and whoever who found and kept it. And I'm super pissed I didn't get my slushie and nachos. I suffered through 9 holes of putt putt hell for nothing. I hate putt putt. I had gone for the concessions.

I left the store and headed home with my cleaning supplies and more importantly a clean conscience. All budgets were working and perfectly balanced.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Hold on for one more day....

The reviews are in and after one day, Hadley is calling 5th grade a bust. She’s not going back. Her friends are in different homeroom class and she's comparing her current room assignment to a prison sentence.

Upon returning from school, Hadley crossed her name out on my "Have a Great Day Chalkboard."   Sheesh. 

If this is any indication of how the school year is going to proceed, I might have to imprison myself.

She has requested to be home-schooled to which Cameron replied, “Hadley, don’t do that, you will be dumb!” 

Shit. I guess my review isn’t so hot either.

Did they learn anything? Well, kinda.

Hadley: I learned that these shoes give me blisters.

Cameron: Allergies. I learned about allergies. If I don’t wash my hands after eating peanut butter, I could kill a kid. Maybe even a kindergartner.

With my heart breaking a little for Hadley, I am hopeful that if can convince her to attend, that tomorrow might be a little bit better.

Maybe I’ll play her a little Wilson Philips on repeat tonight and teach her to “Hold on for one more day…..” Perhaps then she’ll be begging to go to school.

That’s what it’s come to, ten years into this parenting gig and I’m now relying on Wilson Philips. 

This is my only idea. This is all I've got. I'm going to smack the first day of school blues out of her with early 90s pop music. 

Good luck Hadley.  PS. Cameron wash your hands.