Thursday, January 26, 2012

Curse you Sally Hansen

My Armerian genes have blessed me with thick dark hair that grows quickly. This blessing is not limited to the top of my head. It also grows all over my face. Left unmanaged, I have about a week before I resemble the late Osama bin Laden. 

My free time all seems to be spent plucking, waxing, and bleaching. 

As I've been grooming all of this hair for nearly 20 years, I've become pretty good at it. However, after I had children a few new stray hairs popped up for me to pluck - right on the end of my chin. What the hell? Really? Yes, Really. 

The chin hair is particuraly frustrating as it remains the most elusive and most difficult to capture. While I might not see a hair in the bathroom mirror, I can later glance in the rear view mirror and see a long one just dangling there - mocking me. 

Mock away lone chin hair - I've now stashed a pair of tweezers in the console. I'll pluck you dead. 

The hair on my upper lip (I refuse to call it a mustache) is mantained with a bleach/wax combo method. I've been bleaching for years without incident  - until yesterday. 

I mixed the Salley Hansen bleach, applied and began the 8 minutes until bleaching was completed. After a minute or two I knew something was wrong - it burned - really bad. I didn't want to take it off - I didn't have time to re-bleach - so I left it as long as I could stand it and then removed it. 

My skin was burned but worse - I looked like Ronald McDonald. My upper-lip hair was orange. Apparently if you don't leave bleach on long enough dark hair will, of course, will turn orange. I'll have to wait a few days before I can wax or re-bleach, my poor skin can't take it. 

I'll be in hiding for the next few days. Lucky Justin! He can hang out all weekend with me while I'm in seclusion looking like Osama bin ronald McDonald.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Cover Art

I've been in a funk. A real funk. Everything is just blah, eh, and plain uninspiring. 

I'd like to blame it on the weather, but that'd be hard to do given that we've spent most of this winter at about 50 degrees. 

The kids and the husband have been all sorts of grouchy too. I think that after the cheer of December that the few months following just seem bleak in comparison - no matter what the weather.

With all of our funkiness, I was overjoyed when I found Hadley and Cameron coloring together in the toy room. They were laughing and playing like the best of friends, and I think everyone's spirits, on that particular day, were lifted by their giggles.

Then, in a fit of laughter, they proudly presented their artwork: 

I kind of liked it. In case I write a book someday, I now have its cover art. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Quack The Halls

Christmas came, it went and I'm left with a metaphorical and a slightly literal holiday hangover. However, I'm also left with a few gifts that I that I will always look at with reverence as I remember Christmas 2012.

1. From my husband......A 64oz Big Swigg Cup. Yeah, I like fountain drinks but I wouldn't be caught dead hauling this thing around. 

2. From my father-in-law.....A pair of ear plugs and a cupcake-shaped stress ball. I'm pretty sure this speaks volumes about my life. PS. The cupcake shaped stress ball was swiped immediately by the girls - haven't seen it since. 

3. From my daughter....A mallard. And not just any mallard, but a porcelain mallard with a poinsettia print. Now, that is going straight to my mantle.

I have always believed that it is the "thought that counts," that is unless you have crazy thoughts that might persuade you to by someone a Big Swigg for Christmas and in that case, perhaps, you should give gift cards. 

Disclaimer: As to not totally humiliate my husband, I would also like to disclose that in addition to the Big Swigg he also bought me many other perfectly acceptable Christmas gifts, like a remote starter for my mini-van. So, with luck, there will be no more frozen van doors, seizures or traumatized children in this new year.