Birthday Lunch at the Schnitzlebank.
Gifts that only a mother would love (and I really do): A half-empty hand sanitizer bottle that was wrapped in The Herald. A one dollar bill in an envelope. A paper of scribbles - Jack says it spells Happy Birthday.
Justin says, "All right kids. Let's all go around the table and wish mom a Happy Birthday and say something nice about her. I'll go first. I love Mommy because she takes such good care of you guys, keeps our house so nice and does my laundry."
Well, that was nice to hear. I like this. Let's keep going.
Cameron says, "I just like having a mom."
My god, this kid is just grateful to have any mother at all. She's not hard to please.
Hadley says, "I like you because you buy me stuff. I don't have any money so I need you."
Ok. Valid point. Next?
Jack says, "I don't like you."
Shit. I should've just let him order the chocolate cake.