Road Warrior

Dear Children,

I have spent the week preparing for battle, and tomorrow the war begins. 

No, not a real battle - not a real war. We're going on vacation.

We're driving - so you should know that we'll be spending about 12 hours in the car. 
How long is 12 hours? Well, the whole day or like 24 Phineas and Ferb episodes.

It's a long time, but you don't have to worry. I've got it covered. 

I've packed bags filled with stickers, movies, games, books, paper, pencils, ipods, and more! 

I dare you to tell me you're bored. Impossible! You're mom is way to awesome to 
let boredom creep into her mini-van. 

Hungry? I've got a cooler packed with your favorites. 

Injured? A spill? Need to toss a wrapper? 
I've got a first-aid kit, a roll of paper towels and a trash container. 

Did McDonalds forget your ketchup? Your straw? I've got that right here.

Piss yourself? I've got extra underwear in the glove compartment.

Are you throwing up? I've got a gun to put to my head. 

I'm ready kids - bring it on. Bring on the fits, bring on the tears - I'm armed for battle. 
You will not defeat me. 
I will win this damn road trip. 
I will win this damn vacation and damn it, you will have fun! You got it? Okay. Let's roll. 

Love,

Mom