Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Oh Holy WHAT?

My parents have attended the same church for the past 30 years. At this point, I think they're pretty comfortable. My dad, perhaps too comfortable.

Last Sunday after we sang the hymn, "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name," the minister asked if anyone had wondered about the obscure biblical reference in the hymn. 

She was referring to the lyric that mentioned the "stem of Jesse's rod." She went on to explain the reference and started to proceed with the rest of the service when my dad decided to pipe up.

Just a crazy old man in a church pew, and
my amused husband ducking out of the way.
He yells from the pew, "Hey - What about the angels having prostates?"



He did not.

Oh dear God, he did.

The minister stared straight ahead. I think she was silently praying for God's help with her unruly congregant. I was silently praying to disappear. 

The minister decided to address him. She explained that the lyric was "Let angels prostrate fall" - meaning to fall before God. The word was prostrate not prostate.

My dad said responded with, "Yeah OK, well whatever."

What concerns me is that Dad is supposed to be on his best behavior at church. If screaming wildly about prostates before clergy is this guys idea of good behavior - what in the world is he doing when left on his own in public?  Mom - you might want to consider a sitter. I know a few good ones I could recommend. 

I'm surprised Dad is still allowed to attend services - between wearing sweatpants to sing with the choir and yelling out about prostates.  I suspect they are now just tolerating him because he provides special music once in awhile.

Hallelujah. Glory be to God and the Prostates. Amen. 

PS. And God Bless Mom. 

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