The past seven years of raising children has really taken its toll - on my body, my house, my finances, my marriage but perhaps most severely on my mind.
I need to do some cross-word puzzles or take some fish-oil because I operate most of my days in a complete mommy-stuper.
What is a mommy-stuper? Well, its kind of like a drunken-stuper except it feels more like the hangover than the high-times with drinks.
A mommy-stuper trying to remember what you walked up the stairs to get while the baby is crying, your phone is ringing and your older kids are cutting up library books to make crafts (yes, this really happened).
Most days I have trouble remembering what I did yesterday, but I think it's probably because I'm blocking it out.
Or maybe I had a stroke somewhere along the way and nobody noticed. Maybe it was the day this happened? (Click here if you need help remembering :))
Well, whatever happened to my mind be it the kids or a stroke, I hit a new low this week at the grocery store.
I was grabbing a few things I needed for dinner while pushing Jack in the cart while also playing cars with him and texting. Hence, the mommy stuper.
I grabbed noodles and sauce while running a matchbox car along the shelf. He found this hilarious and clapped his chubby hands everytime I made a "Vroom" sound as I rolled the toy car along the cart. This is the reason why I've kept this kid around - he thinks I'm awesome.
We made it to the check-out line, and I reached for my debit card to pay for my groceries. I loudly exclaimed, "Vroom!" as I swiped my card through the reader. What the hell? Did I just "Vroom" by debit card?
Clearly I'd lost it.
The check-out woman first looked at me as if I might be dangerous, but then leaned over and whispered, "You know, honey, we have a really good wine selection. Maybe you should grab a bottle."
Guzzle Guzzle Amen.