Thursday, August 11, 2011

First Grade and First Tears...

Hadley shows off her missing two-front teeth. She will start
first grade next week.
I'm not particularly sentimental regarding my children's milestones. I never have been. Watching them grow and achieve is awesome and very rewarding, but it has always just failed to trigger my tear button. 

I thought maybe I was weird. Why wasn't I crying with the other moms on the first day of Kindergarten? Should I be faking it? Could I pinch myself hard enough to well up tears?

On Hadley's first day of Kindergarten, I simply said good-bye and sent her on her merry way. Truthfully, I was relieved to lessen my load, as I was about a million months pregnant and expecting a new baby. She would only be gone for three hours, and although it was three hours daily, it wasn't much different than pre-school.

No tears from this mom - - Until this week when the mere thought of sending Hadley to first grade doesn't just bring tears to my eyes - it has me sobbing. Sobbing. Of course, this puzzles me....

I've stayed at home raising Hadley for the past 6 years. Since the day she's been born, its been her and I - at home hanging out, laughing, playing, fighting, screaming, eating, traveling, shopping, crafting, and learning - both of us together. I taught her the basics like how to hold a cup, how to write her name, how to tie her shoes and she, in turn, taught me how to be a mom.

The days that often seemed mundane and sometimes long, when I now look back, add up to so much. They add up to everything.  

I'm going to miss making her lunch and our quiet time in the afternoon.  So much of me doesn't want her to go. I need more time. Six years suddenly doesn't seem like enough, but she's going and I'll watch her go. She's ready, even if I'm not.

Look out first grade - here comes Hadley! 

Be good to my baby girl.

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