Marc Jacobs and McDonalds

When summer began, I had three pairs of sunglasses. I'm now down to one. 


I've managed to hang on to my favorite pair - the Marc Jacob lenses that I bought in Las Vegas. 


These were a clearance rack purchase, but were still easily the most I've ever spent on a pair of sunglasses. I think I was woozy from the Vegas heat, because moms should never wear sunglasses that cost more than $9.99. 


To prove my point....


Today, I was in McDonald's Playland with Cameron and Jack.


We were having a good time in the ketchup/grease-scented bacteria trap, but it was time to go - Jack was crawling up strangers legs and spitting chewed-up cheeseburger chunks. I grabbed my keys, phone and - wait! - where were my sunglasses? 


I looked through the diaper bag, through my purse, under the table and then accused Cameron of swiping them. Suddenly it hit me - they were in the damn trash. I had placed them on the tray and must have tossed them when I was cleaning up.


I handed Jack over to my poor friend (who might now require chiropractic care, as she wasn't used to wrestling the 30lb eleven-month-old toddler man-child) and headed to the trash.


I pulled the can out & well, it was pretty gross. An older woman came to assist me (because she was crazy? I don't know...) and essentially told me to suck it up because if I could care for kids, then I could dig through a trash can. 


I suppose she was right, so I kept digging, and soon I found them - dripping in ketchup and salad dressing. 


As I turned around, I was met by laughing and pointing toddlers who seemed to get quite a kick out of the dumpster-diving side show.


Later, I felt ill. That trash can didn't just contain my sunglasses - I'm pretty sure it contained some sort of chicken-nugget virus. The bird flu, probably. Yes, I'm sure that's it. I now have the bird-flu. Thank you Vegas heat and thank you Marc Jacobs.   


I will hence-forth be purchasing my shades at the Hucks Food & Fuel Station.