If My Vagina Could Talk....

I recently came across my copy of Eve Ensler's play The Vagina Monologues and of course, I had a COMPLETELY normal thought - If My Vagina Could Talk - What would it say?


I tell Justin I'm writing on this topic. He shakes his head. He leaves the room. But anyways...


If my vagina could talk, I'm not sure it would profess an entire monologue, but I think it would have a few key points it would like to make.


1. Um, how 'bout a hair cut?


2. The thong is riding up the wrong way. I'm too old for this nonsense.


3. Some kegels would be greatly appreciated - I could use some toning up.


4. Quit having babies - my God, I've had enough.


5. I do not look like your Grandmother's purse.


There - so relax Justin - that wasn't so bad was it??? I think those are pretty universal, non-specific vaginal themes - minus the Grandmother.