Thursday, July 28, 2011

Letter to Myself at 18

Dear Abbie - 

Wait!! Stop!! This might not be the best idea you've ever had. 

Yes, I realize that you think a giant tattoo above your ass is cool and sexy now, but your 32 year-old self might think differently when this question is put before you:

"Hey Mom - Why do you got that big tattoo above your butt?" 

If that's not enough to give you pause - consider that trends also change and what is "in" one day is out the next, and that sexy piece of ink you so desperately desire will tomorrow be referred to as a tramp-stamp or a white-trash license plate.

Trends come and go - a big tattoo on your lower back is FOREVER. 

Yes, removal is an option but paying for school clothes, lunches and the mortgage trumps tattoo removal for mommy.

Ah, nevermind. You're not listening. 

You're young - you're future is bright and you believe a big piece of meaningless ink above your ass is the best idea in the world. 

Trust me, you will have many great ideas, but this is not one of them.

However, when your precious daughter asks:

"Hey Mom - Why do you got that big tattoo above your butt?" 

You can tell them....well, nevermind - they aren't listening either.

Warmest Regards,

PS. You might also want to re-consider some of those boyfriends

ME: Did you read my blog post?

JUSTIN: No. What's it about?

ME: It was a letter to myself at 18 regarding my tattoo.

JUSTIN: Oh yeah, um, bad move.

ME: What?!?!?!?!? What do you mean bad move??

JUSTIN: What are you getting upset about? I'm assuming the post is about how you don't like your tattoo.

ME: Well, of course it is, but that doesn't me that you can not like it!!!

JUSTIN: What?? How come you can call it a mistake but I can't?

ME: If you don't understand that then, well, you just don't get anything. Not anything at all.

1 comment:

  1. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! What a hoot! YOU are a hoot! This post is pure awesomeness...unlike that tat. I'M KIDDING!! I'M KIDDING! I'M KIDDING!! (It's not that bad at all...I followed a dude out of Wal-Hell today who had a big boob on his calf. That's it. Just a big ol' boob. Blech!)