Thursday, June 2, 2011

Meet My Grandmother

My Grandmother was raised by her father and her five older brothers in rural Kentucky. Her mother died of Tuberculosis when my Grandmother was only 6 years old. She is now 84 years old and full of fire. She's incredibly funny and I thought I'd introduce her to all of you.

Grandmother with Hadley in 2006
Grandmother spends the winter in Texas with her son, my uncle Harry and usually returns to Indiana in the spring to live with her daughter, my aunt Lucinda.

Today she arrived home and came over to see the kids

This is what she had to say.

Me: Grandmother, I like your purse.
Grandmother: Thanks -  I think it looks like a vagina.

Me: I'm tired, I had two glasses of wine last night and stayed up too late.
Grandmother: Wine is no good - I like whisky. I have a few drinks and I'm drunk for the week.

Me: Jack looks so much like Justin.
Grandmother: Yeah, looks like he just shit him out his butthole.

As she's leaving...
Grandmother: "Trust me Abbie, these are the best times of your life...."

You know, I'm pretty sure I believe her.


  1. Kristy here: I only ever have known your grandmother through church connections....but I'm starting to see where you get your sense of humor...and Kenny saw your dad's SOH as well, all makes sense. Wonderful!

  2. Kristy again: by the way, Nate and I are in Barcelona. About your nation-wide ban on skinny jeans - it should be global. NO ONE looks good in them, except that 6-foot blonde bitch that passed by the cafe earlier today. Everyone else....GO WITH WHAT FLATTERS YOUR FIGURE. SKINNY JEANS ARE NOT IT.

  3. Kristy - Wow! Barcelona - That's quite a trip. I'm assuming you didn't bring the kids?!?!?
    Skinny Jeans - ugh - just the name irritates me.